Seeing with New Eyes: How Empathy Interviews Strengthened Student-Adult Relationships at Urban Dove Brooklyn
Why aren’t all students and adults forming strong relationships in school?
This powerful question guided the Urban Dove Brooklyn (UD Brooklyn) team - Veronica Roth, Jazmin Williams, and Ana Jorge - through their journey in the 2024-25 Student-Adult Relationships Improvement Lab. To dig deeper, they turned to a practice called empathy interviews, which offered a structured way to hear directly from students and adults about their real experiences in school.
What they uncovered shifted their thinking and could shift yours, too!
What Are Empathy Interviews?
Empathy interviews are one-on-one conversations designed to gain a deeper understanding of the experiences of both students and adults. By utilizing this intentional, honest practice, the team at UD Brooklyn was able to “see the system” at play within their own school to better understand relationship-building across their community.
How They Did It
The team interviewed both students and adults to get a full picture of student-adult dynamics. They intentionally selected:
students who were new to the school, had challenging past experiences, or had diverse learning needs - including both students with and without IEPs, and
adults across departments and experience levels, from new hires to seasoned staff.
The Interview Questions ⬇️
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Can you give an example of a student-staff interaction that felt positive? Why?
What are the benefits of students and adults having strong relationships?
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If I visited your classroom, what would I see or hear to show meaningful staff-student connections?
When it comes to building relationships with students, what comes naturally? What feels challenging?
At first, some students hesitated. Would their voices really matter? Over time, trust grew, and with it came vulnerable, honest stories about what it feels like to be misunderstood, seen and supported by the adults around them.
What They Uncovered
One theme came through loud and clear: Both students and adults valued being heard.
Even the more reserved students opened up about moments of tension, miscommunication, and emotional disconnect. The interviews surfaced:
Examples of how classroom conflicts sometimes spiraled due to misunderstandings
Key differences in how new and veteran teachers approach relationship-building
Gaps between how adults intended for restorative practices to land versus how students actually experienced them
From Insight to Action
With these insights in hand, the team moved to action. They realized that adults need more structured support for processing their own emotions during times of conflict. Restorative circles, while well-intentioned, weren’t always working as planned. The preparation leading up to circles needed to evolve. Their response to this challenge was a new approach that included more time for adult self-reflection before and after restorative conversations.
🔍 Want to see how they tested this change? Click here to read more about their change idea.
Lessons Learned
This work wasn't easy or linear, but it was well worth it. The team walked away with powerful lessons that other practitioners can carry into their own schools and programs:
Don’t assume. What students shared surprised the team and challenged their assumptions.
Timing matters. The initial positive data from the beginning of the year was misleading, as students’ feelings shifted after the “honeymoon” phase of the school year. Repeating interviews throughout the year could offer a more accurate picture.
Be patient. Building trust takes time. This work is challenging, but doable given time and space.
Want to Try Empathy Interviews?
If you're looking for meaningful ways to center youth voice and strengthen relationships, empathy interviews are a great place to start.
Check out our Empathy Toolkit, which includes guidance and activities for soliciting youth perspectives with care and purpose.
